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Rubbed on balls every night for three years straight and I still ended up with over twenty kids. This stuff does not work.
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“I got a free cat in the box with this purchase but I’m not sure if I should open it to see if the cat is ok.”
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I left this product next to my pet lizard, unfortunately now he’s 350ft tall now and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan”
“If I opt for air mail does it get delivered by Amazone Prime Air or CIA drones?“
“I want to turn my pet iguana into a 400 foot tall kaiju with radioactive breath. How many should I buy?”
“I Got it maybe 30 days ago (Give or take a day or two). Last week, I took it with me when I went to the local cemetery with my niece and accidentally left it behind on the steps of one of the tombs. Three days later, my sister was over at the house and took her dog for a walk near the church when she found a dead cat. I saw it, the thing looked shredded. News around the neighborhood was some psychotic kid was killing small animals. The police won’t say a word about it. Yesterday, The police went house to house asking about illnesses and if anyone was sick, no one was so they left. This morning, there was a traffic jam outside. Some crazy Fuckers even drove up on my front yard. I tried calling the police but the phones were down. At noon, I heard some children screaming their heads off. Then their parents joined in with the screaming. I think my neighbors are fucking crazy. I looked outside, I saw some drunk in a dirty business suit walk across my yard. I’ve had enough, I’m going out there to scream at that pale skinny fucker. Two Stars.“
when i die all i want is to become on of those cats who lives around archaeological sites in greece and rome, sun myself while surrounded by remnants of antiquity, and make visitors wonder if i am perhaps some reincarnated ancient soul returning to the home i loved millennia ago
